There's a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from trying to control everything.
The mental load that never lifts. The constant calculating, planning, worrying about outcomes you can't actually guarantee. The white-knuckling your way through life—convinced that if you just hold on tight enough, you can keep it all together.
But here's what nobody tells you about control: it's a myth.
And the grip? It's not keeping you safe. It's keeping you stuck.
The Illusion of Control
I used to think control equaled safety. Anxiety told me that letting go meant falling apart. So I held tighter.
I couldn't drive without panic attacks. Couldn't leave my house alone. My heart raced at the thought of things I couldn't manage. I was paralyzed—not by lack of control, but by the desperate attempt to maintain it.
I had surrendered my life to Jesus as a kid. I believed God was good. But when it came to my actual life—my daily decisions, my future, my body—I couldn't release my grip.
Until I had no choice.
When Control Gets Taken From You
Twelve college rejection letters. A calling I didn't want. A career path I didn't choose.
And then—breast cancer.
Life-altering decisions with no guarantees. My body, my future, my family's stability—all beyond my control.
I had two choices: grip tighter or release.
I chose surrender. Not because I was strong, but because I had nothing left to hold onto.
And in that terrifying release, I found what I'd been searching for all along.
There's Safety in Surrender
Not the kind of safety that comes from controlling outcomes—the kind that comes from trusting the One who holds it all.
When I finally let go, the anxiety that had consumed me began to lose its power. The fear that kept me trapped started to quiet.
Today, I'm healed of cancer and disabling anxiety. But surrender didn't end there. Every single day, I have to choose not to live in fear. Every day, I release my grip. Every day, I return to open hands.
What Happens When You Stop Gripping
Surrender creates space. When you're no longer consumed with controlling your life, you can actually start living it.
Surrender created space for service. Service became my freedom. And that freedom led to generosity.
I learned that through surrender, we learn to trust. And trust leads us to peace—not the kind that depends on circumstances, but the kind that exists no matter what.
The Posture of Open Hands
This is why Oh! exists.
Oh! stands for Open Hands—the physical posture of surrender. The daily choice to release control and trust God with what you cannot hold.
We started Oh! Behind the Seams because we needed a tangible reminder. Something we could put on each morning that would anchor us back to this truth: there's safety in surrender.
When you wear Oh!, you're wearing a posture. A practice. A daily return to open hands.
This Is Your Invitation
Maybe you're exhausted from the grip. Maybe anxiety has you convinced that letting go means losing everything.
You don't have to hold it all together.
What if today you dared to release your grip—just a little? What if you chose trust over control, even in one small area?
This is for you—the anxiety-ridden who are tired of trying to control everything. Those ready to release their grip and discover what trust actually feels like.
Stop gripping. Start living.
Open your hands. Wear the reminder.
There's safety in surrender.
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